There are 254,000 men and women and even children that are homeless in Los Angeles. Homeless people can be find musty on metro subways and the area where they stay in or near communities where they lost their self into drugs or maybe they serve our country by going to war once they return they lose everything to the people who once called them family. The average age for women is 40 and younger and men are 30 and younger. 

-notice how here you are giving facts and stats about the homeless population? this seems like it would work best as its own paragraph.  Can you add more context to help build a picture for your readers? 

Some people just decides to be homeless because they don’t have family support lose their jobs their lazy don’t want to work or just get addicted to drugs or are mentally stick or old that no job would hire them or even their just criminals to our community but in fact some are not really criminal’s there are retired veterans who protected our country and they are treated less and like criminals and with no respect to them cause few of us see them like criminal’s. 

-here you begin to switch topics and talk about stereotypes the homeless face.  The reason I say these read as stereotypes is because this reads like your opinions not necessarily the reality since there aren't any facts to back this up.  Is this going to be a section on homeless stereotypes or did you do research and do you the numbers for the amount of veterans, mentally ill, and addicts that make up the LA homeless population? 

            Now California passes a bill for homeless to protect them and to give them an opportunity and have indication with their name and information for they can’t feel less in society. They often don’t want much just have possibility to sit around in public without fear or getting arrested. Even this bill gives them access to housing, school and their access for benefits programs.

-what bill are you talking about?  describe the bill and inform us about it if it is important enough for you to mention.  Name, when was it passed, who passed it, what are the parts of the bill, who supported it, who does it effect, etc. 

   The interview that was made for john he explains how hard life is with him how people treat him with no respect to a retired veteran throwing him trash and other stuff to make him feel less (remember your audience hasn't watched the video and doesn't know who John is so you are going to have to introduce this). Many people would see him like a criminal with mental problems but in fact his really humble. Also he tries not to be rude with people on the streets, neighbors also he has a little area where he can spend the night making sure he doesn’t pass the line on the sidewalk staying away from peoples way. He evens mentions himself going to war for 400 dollars the month risking his life for this country for other people can just be rude to him not knowing his story and what has he been through. He went to war to honor his older brother who raised him and cared for him a brother who he lost while battling on the war. Once john came back many people turned their backs on him and other veteran’s as well. 

People see homeless persons if they don’t exist ignoring them if they ask for a little help with money.  It’s really sad how we see homeless people as criminals or lazy. 
-this goes back to the negative stereotypes.  Consider what you want to say about this and where you want to fit it in your final article.  I can see you discussing this before you talk about John since he is an example of someone who challenges the negative stereotypes and makes you reconsider what the homeless go through. 

I believe that there should be more help for veterans and shelter’s instead for them living on the streets.  After all they serve our country with their life's on the line and should  deserve to be respected.
-you shift your position here.  Before the majority of your ideas are around negative stereotypes and how not all homeless people fit that model and then here you switch to talk about specifically homeless veterans. 
-I think you can make this work.  What you are going to want to do is then narrow your information to the veteran homeless population, veteran homeless stereotypes and then look into the resources that are offered to homeless veterans.  This would be a good topic for you to discuss.  Especially since John's story fits into that.